Bahamas Update #25

Life seems to be all about responsibilities. And I hate responsibilities. Why do you think I moved down here? Anyway, you can't go through life for very long without a few responsibilities rearing their ugly heads. But luckily life isn't all cares and woes down here. Just Monday to Friday at the office:

		Can ya gimme a lift? - How can it be that I am responsible for SEVEN different vehicular modes of transport and yet I still can barely get around? I have a Dodge for sale with a broken head gasket (see pic), a Benz that died on me yet again last week, my landlord's crappy old truck which suddenly has 2 flat tires, my landlord's crappy old sailboat which has an unreliable motor, my friend Luke's boat which is way on the other side of the island, and my bicycle which I keep at work but can't ride all the way home to where I live. Luckily I have my trusty old scooter which never fails, but I still hate riding it at night or in the rain. How did I acquire all this junk? Can't I get a decent car? In Nassau the answer to that is no (if you have my budget), but I'm still hoping. Now I gotta sell my 2 jalopies to get money for a new car. It never ends...

		How did I get into THIS mess? - And even when things don't work, you still gotta take care of them. That's what happened when the guy I'm subletting from (my landlord Dragan who you met in update #22) asked me to look after his sailboat while he's out of the country. Foolishly I agreed, and then about a month ago I suddenly had to move it out from where it was moored and find a new home for it. And you city people think a downtown parking space is hard to get! Oy, try finding a parking spot for a 32' sailboat! Anyway I eventually had to get it towed, but I still had to stay on board and keep the rudder straight during the voyage. We moved it from Lyford Cay to Coral Harbour (see pic) and if nothing else it was a beautiful day and a beautiful ride. And thanks to tow boat drivers Rufus & Hector who did such a good job.

		It's better in The Bahamas... if you're RICH - Now let me tell you a little about Lyford Cay. This is an ultra-exclusive gated residential community here in Nassau where rich bastards have canalfront homes like this. And even richer bastards have homes like this. Sean Connery lives here, and so do a lot of other rich bastards including my boss (who surprisingly has never invited me over to visit). Anyway, in the pic to the left we are just exiting Lyford Cay and making our way south, where we will pass by the homes of rich bastards like Peter Nygaard, (see update #14). Another amusing sight that day was seeing the Bahamas Defense Force headquarters at the mouth of Coral Harbour. Who knew we even had a defense force? But the best part was when the whole headache was finally over. Whew!

		Ya call this working? - Wanna see what making $250US looks like? Look left. For some quick pocket money my friend Paul and I spent one Saturday a while back working as crew on a Sony commercial being filmed here in town. The shoot involved a shark cage being lowered from a boat, and some footage of a person in the cage. One of my jobs that morning was organizing the chum (shark food) but the minute we got to the filming spot, the sharks were already circling the boat. What a trip! The rest of the day we just helped out here and there but we didn't have much responsibility since the main crew was filming on the 2nd boat. And when a sudden summer squall swelled up, we had to sit that out for about 45 minutes. We were bobbing around like a cork! Good thing I have my sea legs (how do they look?).

		Dictator or director? - The director of the aforementioned commercial was a guy named Joe deSilva. Apparently he's the biggest name in commercials in North America, but I ain't never heard of him. All I know is he was a rude, ornery and crusty ol' bugger (he's the long haired dude in the pic) and he liked to give orders. The guy to the left of him (with the yellow t'ingum) was, by contrast, a super nice guy who has developed a camera tripod called Perfect Horizon, that keeps a movie camera level while filming on a ocean going vessel. To test it we put a jug of water on the base and, sure enough, as we rocked on the open waves the water in the jug stayed level. Too bad the whole boat couldn't be designed like that. Then, at the end of the shoot, a huge rainbow came out and the director worked it into the scene. How cornball!

		Hope Town - I spent a weekend in early October with my pals from the Hash House Harriers and we took a road trip over to the Bahamian island of Abaco, where we took over the tiny metropolis of Hope Town. It's a very cutesy little town (quite touristy but ultra-quaint), and the harbour is dominated by a fully functional candy-striped lighthouse. The resort where we stayed had amazing beaches, a spectacular view and just off shore there were fantastic coral reefs for snorkelling. Wish I had pictures of that! We spent one of our three days in Abaco on the neighbouring island of Guana Cay, where we had a morning run, a few drinks, and then lunch (and more drinks) at the "apparently" world-famous Nippers Beach Bar. All in all it was a great trip, and now I've been to 8 of the 17 major islands in The Bahamas.

		Party Animals - Any excuse for a party here in Love Beach (where I live) and so it was, in the 2nd week of October, that we celebrated Paul's birthday . Paul, a Bahamas native, is the undisputed "king" of Love Beach (a la King of Kensington - Canadian reference), and his party, like all our parties, was more like a global summit meeting. There was Olivier from France, Neils from Germany (with Trishka from Nassau), Joanne from Switzerland, Chad from Seattle, and the gals from Canada. Greece, Austria, and Malaysia were also represented and a few more countries besdides. After a few drinks Paul went round the entire table (about 20 people) and lambasted each person based on their country. Best line: "Look at the Swiss, They're neutral. You know what happens to a car when it's in neutral? It goes nowhere!" - It was hysterical, trust me.

		Life is a Breeze - It seems no matter how many short vacations I take, it never seems to be enough. Maybe that's because 40 hours a week at Dupuch Publications Ltd is enough to sap the life out of anyone. So, whenever there's a long weekend I try and book a little extra time off and escape somehow. For the Columbus Discovery Day long weekend in mid-October I managed to escape, but only as far as the Breezes All-inclusive Resort right here in Nassau. My friend Michelle, a local, had won a weekend pass to the hotel and so we decided to use it before it expired. And 2 days of all-you-can-eat food, all-you-can-watch satellite TV, and all-you-can-drink poolside cocktails is enough to put anything right. For more about Breezes see update #15. For more about Michelle see here.

		Beauty & the Beast - After my weekend at Breezes I wasn't quite ready to head back to the office so I took off , once again, to the island of Eleuthera, which is just a 25 minute flight from Nassau. Once there I teamed up with my friend Paul, my hosts Patou and Erich, and my buddy Maurice who lives on Eleuthera and knows where to find lobsters like the one in this pic. What a monster! I speared him, but Maurice and I had to work together to catch him. And then... what a feast! I also caught my first Nassau grouper, which is one mighty delicious fish. And speaking of wildlife, I also saw a few huge freaky spiders like this guy and this one too. Wow! Another highlight was going to see Maurice play his once a week gig at a small local bar called Elvina's. He's just recorded a CD (in Toronto of all places!) Check out these MP3s. Rock on dude!

		Only in The Bahamas - Unlike Nassau, the island of Eleuthera is a laid back sleepy island where things operate at a different pace. F'rinstance: when the cop comes to investigate a break-in, he stops to play a game of backgammon. And when they caught the guy that broke into Patou's house and stole, among other things, a roast pork, he confessed - when caught - that it was the best roast pork he ever had. What a larf! Eleuthera is quite a varied island, both socially and geographically. There's Surfer's Beach (sorry no pics) where big waves come in all day long and dudes surf them. Then, by contrast, there's the island of Spanish Wells which is an almost entirely white populated fishing town. The streets and homes here are immacualte, and the residents make a fortune lobster fishing. But the gene pool is more like a puddle.

		Cross-pollination - October is a busy month in nassau, and one of the highlights is the Annual Cultural Weekend. Basically it's a food and drink exhibition, held in the beautiful Nassau botanical gardens, where the city's various cultural communities set up booths to represent their countries and then we all come to eat and drink all the great imported goodies that you don't normally find here. It's also a great excuse for the ex-pats and locals alike to get together for a big 2-day piss-up. Friends like Marco, Michaelangelo, Peter & Linda, Sherry, Garry & Marla, and the Love Beach lads, all had a great time. There were also a few costumed goodwill delegates in the crowd (Scandanavia, Canada, (who knows), and the very sexy girls from Russia).To the left: Danny, his friend, and myself are enjoying an imported Teltley's from the UK. Cheers!

		Culture Vultures - Another October event we all love is the Annual Wine and Art Show, held in the Bahamas National Trust Retreat (a walled-in tree/garden park). It was a perfect day for the event, and there was plenty of interesting art, some questionable art, some 3-D art, some not bad art, but mainly there was lots of wine to taste, lots of friends to meet, and a few braless drunkards just to keep things interesting. Wine is terribly overpriced here in The Bahamas (funny, cuz all other liquor is duty-free) so it's a great chance to quaff back some quality product. And there's no R.I.D.E. patrol (another Canadian reference) waiting at the gates for us all when we leave (RIDE checks catch people driving drunk). Although driving after drinking is frowned upon in The Bahamas you won't get busted for it. Ahhh yes, a life with NO responsibilities...

Well, that's it for now. My job is still a grind, and since the clocks have been set back for daylight savings time it gets dark here by 6:00pm. I barely have time to get home from work before it's pitch black. No more drinks in the water to unwind after work for me. But, on a different note, here's a link to make you all jealous. Click here to see the monotonous weather forecasts I bravely put up in this place. What?... hot and sunny AGAIN?!!

over'n'out,